Washout
by douxpink
Summary: (*TRIGGER WARNING!*) Carpal Tunnel, was an infamous Rock band that swept the nation, producing hit after hit with every album making its way to the top of the charts. Though, due to certain events involving the lead singer and electric guitarist, Issei, the band spiraled out of control, never to release another hit again. (Washed out, former rockstar Issei vs the Supernatural!)


**A.N/ So it's nearing the end of the school year for me and I have been sifting through just about every high school dxd fan fiction you can find on this website, and finally decided it was time for me to write one of my own! This will be the first fan fiction I have ever written on this website so hooray for trying something new! Also since it's almost summer, I'll probably post new chappys more frequently than if I were still in school so yay, that is if anyone even reads this fic lol! Please read this guys and please review because that will motivate me x10000 to write more! Also this first chapter might be a little slow, but it's all about them visuals son! Don't worry though, i have ideas and stuff already planned! Anywhore, enjoy! :-) Love- The Author (*TRIGGER WARNING!* READ WITH DISCRETION)**

 **P.S. In this fic Kuoh Academy isn't a high school but a college/university. Issei and the rest of the cast are aged around 19, 20, 21 etc.**

 **And, if it wasn't already obvious:**

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

 _Singing_

[Music or song to listen to while reading]

 **DDraig talking**

* * *

 **Flashback- Feburary, 8 months ago**

The roar of the crowd.

That was the best part.

The part that made everything worth it. The feeling of being on stage surrounded by those who appreciated his existence. Adored his craft. Listening to the chords of the guitar, the pound of the drums and the kick of the bass, live and in person. It's much more surreal than the countless times he sat on the train, earbuds in, blasting the pre-recorded song on loop. Memorizing the lyrics and the chords. The music was much clearer now. So much more _raw_. Everything he had prepared for was released for the crowd to hear. He could almost feel the rhythm in his veins. It was almost as if he were a fancy sports car that only ran on power provided by the strum of his guitar. He was in a state of blissful chaos.

The faint aroma of weed hung in the air but the high he was feeling wasn't from the drugs, nor was it from the concoction of pills he'd swallowed down in the bathroom just a few minutes before. It was the music. The escape. The peace.

[play Cigarettes In the Theater by Two Door Cinema Club]

The fluorescent lights above that cascaded through the venue like the webs of a spider. Back and forth, back and forth in polychromatic turrets of color. He couldn't help himself from staring a the array of colors that shone from the rafters above. Everything was perfect. And then he started to sing.

 _It starts in the theatre, a night of encounters_

 _If I hadn't been there, if not for a cigarette_

When he sang, he felt calm. All the stress and memories he wished he could forget would slip from his mind the second he pursed his lips. He was in his own world.

 _And you could see it change_

 _Look past the blinding light, look past the blinding light_

 _Just keep talking on_

 _Tell me your favorite things, tell me your favorite things_

The music is what saved him. His electric guitar strapped across his chest. It protected him and gave him strength. He was his most confident on stage.

 _Difference in opinion was never an issue_

 _Collect all your questions 'cause this time we've all night_

His fingers strumming while he sang his heart out. All his emotions spilled out just like the guts of a predator's prey.

 _And you could see it change_

 _Look past the blinding light, look past the blinding light_

 _Oh, just keep talking on_

 _Tell me your favorite things, tell me your favorite things_

The audience would sing along and, though he would never admit it outloud, he felt a warm, content feeling when he'd catch the eye of a screaming fan below and watch as they're cheeks flush up and their eyes brighten in amazement. Screaming to the person next to them, 'He looked at me! He looked at me!'

 _And you could see it change_

 _Look past the blinding light, look past the blinding light_

 _Just keep talking on_

 _Tell me your favorite things, tell me your favorite things_

But like every high, they ware off.

And that was the worst part.

When the songs would trail off and the atmosphere would quiet. When the setlist would end and the screams of excitement that were ravishing the revenue just hours before would cease completely. When the curtains would close, and the lights would dim, no longer would there be anything to provide him with the motivation to continue on. Instead a deafening silence held its place. And everything would come rushing back. The stress. The worries. _Those_ memories. It was time for him to take more pills.

* * *

 **Present, September**

"Wake up please! Could you please wake up now! Orrr you could just stay in bed, but I'm not going down on you. Wake up mister, wake up mister, wake up mister!"

The ever familiar sound of Issei's alarm clock of cosplay hotties blared through his ears. Slamming his hand down on the clock to silence the noise, Issei groggily rose from his bed. He didn't remember falling asleep last night which was evident by the fact that he was still dressed in his clothes from the night before, ripped up black skinny jeans and a maroon hoodie. He did however remember that he was up at the wee hours of the night which meant he hadn't gotten much sleep yet again.

Sitting up from his bed was the first mistake Issei would make today when he tried to get up too fast and instantly winced at the gnarly headache that attacked at his temples.

"Augh god dammit." Issei swore under his breath as he clutched at his head. He reached for his nightstand to grab his pills to ease his headache but was disappointed to find only empty bottles. This caused another swear to escape his mouth as he stood up to walk toward the bathroom.

Dirty clothes and broken CD's littered his bedroom floor but Issei wasn't bothered to do anything about it. He must have been smashing old records last night.

As Issei was making his way towards the bathroom door, he couldn't help but read the heading of that blasted newspaper that he always kept on his desk. In bold print the paper read, 'Popular Rock Band Carpal Tunnel Experiences Major Falling Out?!' followed by the subheader, 'The Lead Singer Could Be to Blame.' With a scoff, he just adverted his eyes and opened the door to the bathroom to freshen up as best as he could.

Looking in the mirror, he was a pale boy of average height and build. He had messy locks that were dyed a starch white color, a complete contrast to his accompanying dull, brown eyes. He was a fairly attractive boy, which he needed to be, if he was the leader singer of a band- well, former lead singer of a band, along with black stud earrings on his ears.

Running a hand down his face, Issei groaned at the bags under his eyes. Choosing to ignore his appearance for the moment, he bent down to turn on the faucet and opted to splashing a few handfuls of water on his face to wake him up. The cold water felt nice on his hot skin.

Once he was finished washing off, he reached into the mirror to look for some painkillers but was disappointed once again. It was looking like he would be making a trip to the drugstore today. With a sigh, Issei exited the bathroom, making sure to grab his cellphone, and went towards the living room. He halted to a stop in the doorway of his destination when he saw his dad passed out drunk on the armchair facing the static of the television. His father used to be very put together and slender, but since the passing of Issei's mother, he had let himself go, succumbing to drinking and violence to help fill the void in his soul. If he even had a soul anymore. Issei hated him.

He didn't want to wake his father, though, so he had to be extra quiet when walking past him. And, though Issei would never admit it unless high out of his mind, he feared what happened when his father got angry. A shiver went down his spine at just the thought of those slimy hands on him- on _her_. _'_ **Issei stop thinking. Calm down** _.'_ the gruff voice in his head would say whenever his repressed memories tried to resurface. He didn't know when he started hearing the voice. He'd just assumed he was slowly going insane.

Sighing, Issei decided to just skip breakfast and leave to go to the pharmacy. His headache was persistent. Stepping outside, he instantly felt the brisk, chilling breeze of Autumn hit his face so he put the hood of his jacket up. Issei usually did this when he was outside because he didn't want to risk any possible former fans or lingering paparazzi to get the jump on him.

He closed the gate to his house behind him as he started walking. Issei lived in a one story home with his father. Nothing too fancy. Just enough room to fit three people, well two people now. Issei still wasn't used to the fact that his mother was gone forever. It hurt to think about it. It was his fault.

In order to stop his thoughts for clouding his judgment he reached into his jacket pocket in search of his headphones. Music would calm him down.

Shit. He'd left them on his nightstand.

With a grunt, he kicked the closest thing towards him in frustration, which just so happened to be a rock. Thankfully the nearest drugstore wasn't that far of a walk so he just had to focus on his surroundings to stop his thoughts.

The sky was a peaceful light blue color and only a few clouds were visible. It was a clear, breezy morning. He was especially thankful that the sidewalk wasn't too crowded, aside from a few men dressed in suits hurrying to signal the nearest cab that'd allow them passage as they headed to work. It also happened to be a weekday which meant everyone was either working or at school, well almost everyone. Ever since the collapse of his band, Issei never went back to school. He and his bandmates had dropped out of high school their sophomore year to start Carpal Tunnel and they had done online school while on tour. So since then, Issei hadn't so much as thought about school let alone picked up a textbook. Granted it had only been a few months since the band collapsed, he kind of wanted to go to a real university. His grades weren't the best but he did particularly well in a few subjects like math, language, music, and gym.

As he was walking, Issei noticed the ledge that overlooked the ocean next to the park. People would always hang out around there and stare down at the water. Issei never did though, but he had to admit, that in the moment, it did look tempting. Without even realizing it, Issei's legs were moving on their own as he made his way over to the ledge. Why did it fascinate him so much? He knew why as soon as he caught a glimpse of the ocean below. The waves crashed back and forth on top of one another as they slammed against the rocks on the shore below. It looked to be a pretty hefty drop and, if he had to guess, he'd say it was roughly 40 feet.

Drop. Fall.

He could fall and everything would be over. No more dad. No more thoughts. No more pain. Nothing. And even if the fall itself hadn't killed him, he couldn't swim. Never learned how. Surely that would kil- ' **Enough**.' the voice in his head interrupted him. It was very stern and authoritative it almost shocked Issei.

His head pulsed.

Realizing what was happening, Issei regained control of his legs and quickly shot away from the ledge, landing on his bottom as he let out a forced, breathy laugh.

"Ahah right what am I doing."

Shaking his head in an attempt to regain his composure, Issei stood up, dusted himself off, and found comfort in shoving his hands into his jacket pocket. He needed to restock on pills fast because he could never think straight when he was sober.

Picking up the pace in his steps, he arrived at the drugstore only a few moments later. Entering the store he felt instant relief and comfort at the air conditioning and the flickering of the fluorescent lights above. Again there weren't many people in the store and he didn't even bother to get a good look at anyone he just wanted to get his pills and leave. No strings attached.

He knew exactly where to go because he frequented the establishment since his return from band life and made his way straight to the prescription section. The woman at the counter was average looking and was too preoccupied by a magazine in her hands that he hadn't noticed Issei walk up.

"Ehem, excuse me."

The woman, reluctantly, put the magazine down with a huff as she glared up at Issei. "Ya?"

"I'm here to pick up something." He fidgeted.

"Name?"

"Uh, Hyoudou." He said taking out his ID just incase she asked but it didn't seem like she noticed anyway.

"Yaaa okay wait here." And she turned around to find his prescription.

Waiting was always the worst part but Issei opted to just staring off at a fixed point on the floor. As he was waiting, however, Issei had noticed a girl watching him through the window outside. From what he could tell, she looked to be around his age, with black hair that reached toward her breasts. She was wearing a school uniform to a university he didn't recognize and something in about her piercing violet eyes looked suspicious. She tried to hide her presence from him by hiding herself behind a post but it was obvious what she was doing. Issei sighed and just hoped she wasn't a fan who recognized him. Though he made no apparent indication that he'd noticed her, he just hoped that she'd lose interest in him and go away.

"Alright Hyoudou so we've got Xanax, Prozac, Celexa, and Klonopin, is that correct?" The clerk listed off the connection in an apathetic tone. Issei couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed at all the different pills he needed to feel sane but it was the only way.

"Yes that's correct." Issei said as he reached into his wallet. The total was some overpriced number that he just blurred out because it didn't matter, and paid the woman upfront.

"Thank you come again." But he knew she didn't mean it because as soon as he'd paid her, she went straight to the magazine she was reading before.

Sighing, Issei grabbed his lifeline and exited the store, once again welcomed by the chilling breeze of the open air. Glancing to the side, he noticed the girl he'd seen from the window was now gone. If their was a God out there, Issei mentally thanked him for being on his side for once.

Before he even left the front of the store, Issei reached into this bag of goodies and pulled out the first bottle he could grasp. Xanax. As if mundane, he popped five pills and shoved the rest into his pocket.

He hoped the effects would set in fast because as he was nearing the ledge from before, his thoughts of suicide rushing back like the ocean waves below.

Walking back over to the ledge, Issei placed a hand on the railing and noticed how unsturdy it was. It was cool to the touch and Issei realized something. He could fall accidently. If he died it wouldn't necessarily be suicide. Just an accident.

He shook his head again. The voice in his head seemed to be dormant. Maybe he really should just end it all now. He was useless anyway, his dad reminded him of that everyday. Who would even miss him if he was gone anyway? His former bandmates? If they even still liked him after all that's happened. If he died, he'd be free. He'd be with his mom. He'd be at peace. What was stopping him from throwing himself into the ocean's depths? No one.

He hoisted his right leg over the railing.

What did it matter if he never fulfilled his dreams? As if he was ever going to in the first place. He was incapable of being and feeling loved so he should just die. It's all his fault anyways. Everything his fault. Blame Issei. He's a coward. He should die. I hate Issei.

Next was came his left foot.

His back was to the ocean as he held onto the railing.

As soon as he released his fingers from the metal railing, he'd drop. Drop and drown deep into darkness.

But there was one persistent thought at the back of his head then kept him hanging on. Though small, it was there. The thought of revenge. If there was one dream he knew had to fulfill, it was revenge on his mother's killer. Himself. But is killing himself a worthy enough punishment? Issei thought he deserved to suffer more. He could've prevented his mother's death if he wasn't such a coward. He was too afraid to say anything. Too afraid to help. Just watch as _he_ was slowly killing her. Again, and again, and again. The thought of the alcohol from _his_ breath made Issei want to gag. How dare let that happen.

No. He couldn't die yet. He deserved the pain. The punches and the kicks. He had to endure them for her sake. He couldn't die yet.

A tear threatened to fall and his palms were sweaty. There was salt in the air as the breeze hit his face. Any bit of noise rang deaf in his ears.

Issei was about to climb back over the railing, when he saw a group of people around his age, three females, one male, dressed in Kuoh University uniforms. There was a short girl with shoulder length white hair who was licking a lollipop, a boy with blonde hair who looked like he could get any girl he wanted, and a beautiful girl with long black hair tied up with an orange ribbon. Issei almost couldn't sustain a blush when he saw how ginormous her tits were too! The way they walked almost reminded Issei of royalty and they appeared to be discussing something of great importance. But was had really caught Issei's eye to begin with was _her_. The 'leader' of their little group of four. The beautiful girl with the hair the color of blood and the eyes as blue as the sea. She held the nobility of a Queen with every step she took and Issei's face heated up a little more when he noticed her tits as well. Perfect. God the things Issei would do to get a girl that fine.

At this point, Issei wasn't sure if it was the girl with the red hair or the pills that were making his head fuzzy but he felt his hand slip from the railing. He soon lost his footing and before he could comprehend it, he was falling.

Was he really going to die? What about his revenge? What about that girl?

But there was nothing he could do now and he had to admit he felt a little blissful as he stared up at the sky.

He made compact with the water soon after.

It hurt more than he'd imagined but he wasn't dead, yet.

His head was pounding more than before and his body ached. He probably broke a few bones but his mind was numb. He was almost in a state of euphoria.

The water filled his lungs and he didn't even move to reach the surface.

His eyelids felt heavy as he stared at the sun reflecting through the water. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move.

Issei was going to die.

He couldn't help but think about the headers of the newspapers that would be released after this. 'Former Lead Singer of Band Carpal Tunnel Commits Suicide.' He almost wanted to laugh.

Issei slowly drifted slower and slower into the ocean's depths. But before his vision went black, he could've sworn he saw red hair coming towards him.


End file.
